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'Abba's Gone!'
When we hear news of death
we're taught to say:
'Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un'
'From God we come, and to Him is our return'
and to pass the message on
to at least three people...
But when they told me about you
I blanked out because just a short while ago
they'd said you were being discharged
they were taking you home
and now I hear:
'Adiela! Did you hear what I said?'
'Abba's gone!'
Abba's gone?? It wasn't registering!
On autopilot I pass on the news
put up a status:'Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un'
but can't seem to bring myself
to attach your name to it
I can only add broken hearts...
Broken hearts! Because mine was broken
for so many reasons:
This death, all around, creeping ever closer!
Yours! A heart attack they'd said!
This pandemic! That won't let me be
with my loved ones
won't let me attend your mayat!
YOUR mayat?? Miles away
I offer Esha salaah
raise my hands to make dua
but I'm still in shock!
I can't think - leave only my emotions with Allah
then take my kitab to read Yaseen
but the words begin to tear and blur
so I recite from memory...
And fragments of other memories
come trickling in, of you
playfully running in a circle
away from me, in the spacious passage
of number 13 Soni's, Pmb
saying: 'Spook! Spook!
Are you a ghost chasing me?'
And of me, around three, running after you
saying: 'No, Abba! I'm not! See! I'm me!'
As I caught up to you and held onto your leg
you were smiling, with a twinkle in your eye
You had that same proud twinkle in your eye
when you looked at me, on my wedding day
and walked me down the aisle, years later
How the years have flown by...
Echoes of the past, slowly give way
to the present, as I'm sent a link
to the live stream of your janazah
YOUR JANAZAH!! Overlooking Table Mountain
and Zeekoevlei on this cold, windy day
and just as they pick you up
to take you away, the camera gets blown over
But with that gust of wind, my words
come floating back - to memorialize this moment
I stare at the screen, through tears
and sobbingly mutter: 'Abba's gone!
Abba's really gone!'
Adiela Akoo
In loving memory of my beloved maternal uncle, Dr Abdurrazak Ebrahim who passed on 7/8/2020
c 8/8/2020
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